Are you PMSing? How to tackle this infuriating question as a woman
by Devidutta Dash on Jan 19, 2023
Are you PMSing? How to tackle this infuriating question
“Gosh! Why are you so worked up? Are you PMSing or something? Lol.” - Now, haven’t we heard of that a gazillion times?
We get it! From the never-ending cramps to the uncomfortable bloating, PMS can be downright debilitating for some people. But, that doesn’t mean we should get belittled whenever we show even the smallest bit of frustration. (What a terrible way to invalidate someone’s feelings, honestly.)
I vividly remember how stressed I was because of my workload, but a friend’s first instinct was to assume it’s because of my hormones. (seriously?) There’s only one explanation for this: Asking someone if they’re PMSing demeans and belittles their anger; thus, leading them to not be taken seriously.
Here’s how you can tackle this infuriating question simply, call 👏them 👏out! 👏
There’s nothing wrong with being assertive and holding someone accountable for their rude behavior. Whoever it may be, act brutally honest and explain that their comments invalidate your thoughts and feelings, and simply ties your anger with something “uncontrollable” like your hormones.
Here are some statements you can make to set your personal boundaries:
- I am not okay with you asking me if I’m PMSing. If you continue to do so, I will leave.
- I don’t feel comfortable with you asking me questions that don’t legitimize my feelings.
- I need you to stop making comments about me PMSing just because I’m angry or stressed.
- I am way more than my PMS symptoms. I feel stressed because of *xyz* task/issue at hand.
- I find it very disrespectful when you ask if I’m on “that time of the month”.
- I will not tolerate any inappropriate questions about my PMS.
- I am not okay with you making jokes about my PMS/ periods, in general.
Remember- you are much more than your PMS! Sly comments like these perpetuate the belief that you cannot be in control of their emotions. It is high time we change that. Everyone deals with emotional lows and highs - is it justified to blame it a bodily function that cannot be controlled? We don’t think so.
Be the change you want to see. Don’t ask others if they are PMSing and we’re sure they will extend the same courtesy to you. Good luck out there!